Yes, I realize that I left a "to be continued..." just hanging there, and I do have a lot I want to say about what I've learned about the devastating effects of root sin - and I will in coming posts.
For now however, the topic is 'Acedia', a term I'd not heard prior to reading about it in a book entitled, Acedia & Me, recently published by one of my favorite authors, Kathleen Norris. The term acedia is best defined as spiritual sloth, listlessness, and apathy. At its Greek root it means the absence or lack of care; not the "carefree" nature of a light heart, but the apathetic stupor of not caring about what's happening around us. Historically, acedia was considered a condition particular to monastics because the routine of their days varied little over time, and the temptation to boredom strong. However, as time has passed acedia became recognized as an affliction to which we are all were subject.
The ancients described acedia as a bad thought, a sin, a vice and even a demon that attacks the soul. I like the way David of Augsburg, a 13th century German mystic describes acedia, as quoted by Ms. Norris:
"The vice of accidia has three kinds. The first is a bitterness of the mind which cannot be pleased with anything cheerful or wholesome,...The second kind is a certain indolent torpor which loves sleep, and all comforts of the body...[and] flees from whatever is hard, droops in the presence of
work, and takes delight in idleness. ... The third kind is a weariness in such things only as belong to God, while in other occupations its victim is active and in high spirits. (Acedia & Me, page 291)"
I suffer from all three. As I read the pages of Acedia & Me, the light of understanding flickered on, I found the answer to the questions I've been asking myself for some time...What is wrong with me? Why am I so listless? With so much to do, why don't I want to do anything? Is my life that boring? Am I that boring? Why do I waste so much time doing nothing at all? Why do I seem lazy at some things, but not others? Why do put off doing things I love to do whatever it is I find myself doing?
For several years now, I've had a vague notion of my internal struggle with what could best be described as sloth, apathy, or boredom. I am neither a Catholic, nor a monastic, but since becoming a stay-at-home mom, my days vary little from one to the next. Household chores hold no charm for me, and boredom sets in. I love to write, and being home now, I had hope that it might add some interest to my days. Mostly it does, and I have a strong sense of satisfaction over a completed piece. However, there are times while writing that I find myself without the mental energy to finish a thought or even a sentence. Right now, as I try to write this paragraph, the blue sky, green grass and a perfect 75 degree day beckons me to something else, anything else but what I need to do right now...which is finish this post and clean my house for an upcoming Memorial Day cookout.
Why am I going on about this? Two reasons really; first, my struggle is not new nor merely my own - it has afflicted people since words were created to describe it. Secondly, my hope is that in naming my 'demon', I disarm it by calling it out and shaming my weakness.
As with most struggles, it's by admission and repentance we begin our journey to victory. Like the monks, my hope for victory is found within the same life I live and amid my repetition of the same duties and obligations. However, housework becomes a way to pray and worship, writing a ministry as I exercise the gift God's given. The temptation to restlessness is fought as all temptation is fought, by prayer, Scripture and the remembrance that I am crucified with Christ and the old me no longer lives, but Christ lives in me. In what I might call tedium, Christ is working in me acceptance, patience, contentment, and even joy.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Clearing the Land
This Sunday is Mother's Day and where I live it is the day after which we can feel free to plant our flower and vegetable gardens without fear of a late Spring freeze. So next week, the annuals will be planted and my herb garden will be tended to once again.
When my husband and I first moved into your home, there were no flower beds to speak of, just some shrubbery planted by the builder. We had to cut through the sod, turn up the ground, break up the clay, and dig out the rocks. Then came the mixing in of the peat, good quality top soil and manure all in effort to enrich the beds so they would grow beautiful flowers.
Farmers have to endure the same hard work in clearing a new piece of land, they must first rid the field of trees, stumps, and weeds. They have to dig out any boulders that lay above and below the surface. Clearing land, even for a small flower garden is back-breaking work. We break into a sweat and end up with sore muscles, but unless this work is done, the soil is unfit to produce quality crops or flowers. Even after the flowers or seeds are planted, there is always the need to weed, fertilize and water the land in order for the gardens to grow beautiful flowers or quality produce.
The metaphor of our spiritual lives as gardens is not a new one. In the parable of the Sower, Jesus uses this metaphor to illustrate how the condition of our souls dictates how the seed of God's Word will take root.
When we first come to Christ, we come with souls that are overgrown with the weeds of bad decisions, stumbling blocks of boulders that sit beneath the surface of our lives, unhealthy trees and their root systems that spider out into our lives entangling us in a life of sin. Left untouched, the the soil of our soul will remain overgrown, leaving no room for quality seed to grow, bloom, and bear fruit. The Bible promises that those who are in Christ are new creations (2 Cor. 5:17), but it also tells us in Paul's letter to the Philippians, that we are to 'work out our salvation with fear and trembling'.
As a new Christian, I mistakenly believed that by accepting Christ all my struggles with sin would be gone - a thing of the past. The truth is, my soul was just as overgrown as ever. It took a while before I understood just what was necessary to live a life free from the roots of sin that were deeply embedded in my life. As someone who plays a role in discipling new believers, I know that I'm not the only one with inner obstacles stifling a thriving spiritual life. I've witnessed others struggle with sin that has its roots holding tight within in them; unaware of the unhealthy growth that crowds out what God wants to sow in our lives.
Like physically clearing land, digging out our root sins from our souls takes time and effort. Our spiritual bodies get sore from dealing with the issues that have been controlling our lives. But the effort and pain is well worth it. Once free from root sin, we can be free to live the life Christ created us to live; our souls fit to bear fruit for the kingdom.
To be continued....
When my husband and I first moved into your home, there were no flower beds to speak of, just some shrubbery planted by the builder. We had to cut through the sod, turn up the ground, break up the clay, and dig out the rocks. Then came the mixing in of the peat, good quality top soil and manure all in effort to enrich the beds so they would grow beautiful flowers.
Farmers have to endure the same hard work in clearing a new piece of land, they must first rid the field of trees, stumps, and weeds. They have to dig out any boulders that lay above and below the surface. Clearing land, even for a small flower garden is back-breaking work. We break into a sweat and end up with sore muscles, but unless this work is done, the soil is unfit to produce quality crops or flowers. Even after the flowers or seeds are planted, there is always the need to weed, fertilize and water the land in order for the gardens to grow beautiful flowers or quality produce.
The metaphor of our spiritual lives as gardens is not a new one. In the parable of the Sower, Jesus uses this metaphor to illustrate how the condition of our souls dictates how the seed of God's Word will take root.
When we first come to Christ, we come with souls that are overgrown with the weeds of bad decisions, stumbling blocks of boulders that sit beneath the surface of our lives, unhealthy trees and their root systems that spider out into our lives entangling us in a life of sin. Left untouched, the the soil of our soul will remain overgrown, leaving no room for quality seed to grow, bloom, and bear fruit. The Bible promises that those who are in Christ are new creations (2 Cor. 5:17), but it also tells us in Paul's letter to the Philippians, that we are to 'work out our salvation with fear and trembling'.
As a new Christian, I mistakenly believed that by accepting Christ all my struggles with sin would be gone - a thing of the past. The truth is, my soul was just as overgrown as ever. It took a while before I understood just what was necessary to live a life free from the roots of sin that were deeply embedded in my life. As someone who plays a role in discipling new believers, I know that I'm not the only one with inner obstacles stifling a thriving spiritual life. I've witnessed others struggle with sin that has its roots holding tight within in them; unaware of the unhealthy growth that crowds out what God wants to sow in our lives.
Like physically clearing land, digging out our root sins from our souls takes time and effort. Our spiritual bodies get sore from dealing with the issues that have been controlling our lives. But the effort and pain is well worth it. Once free from root sin, we can be free to live the life Christ created us to live; our souls fit to bear fruit for the kingdom.
To be continued....
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