So, what is normal anyway?

I am an avid reader. There are books that are dear old friends to me. There are books that are mere acquaintances. There are books from which I’ve gleaned wisdom and knowledge and books that have done nothing more than entertain. There are a handful of books, however, that mark milestones in my life; road markers, if you will, on my journey to even get on and stay on the narrow road. These are books that came to me when I was living one way and after I read them I began living another way.

Two of those books are The Normal Christian Life, written by Watchman Nee and originally published in 1957 and the other is True and False Repentance which is a book form of sermons preached by Charles Finney, a minister who played a significant role in the major revival of the mid 1800’s. Some may question the value of The Normal Christian Life, because of the controversial leadership of Watchman Nee and those who followed after him, but in this book I found a key that opened the door to understanding what it means to be freed from the power of my indwelling sin.

Basically, The Normal Christian Life is an exposition of the sixth chapter of the book of Romans. And while there is much to truth to glean from its pages, the pivotal point for me is this: our initial approach to God is always on the basis of Christ’s blood that we are forgiven, but it’s the cross and our reckoning of ourselves as dead with Christ on that cross is what delivers us from the indwelling sin nature rooted in our soul.

You see, I was caught in, it seemed to me, and inescapable roller coaster cycle of poor choices, guilt, shame, (what I thought was repentance, but was instead selfish remorse), and victory for awhile. Then eventually, just as James 1: 14 says, the evil desire within me drug me away and enticed me back into the cycle of ‘self-living’ and I couldn’t seem to keep it from happening. Willpower wasn’t enough. I began to believe that while the Jesus way was the right way, I just wasn’t able live that way.

If The Normal Christian Life opened the door to my understanding of sin, Finney’s True and False Repentance bludgeoned me with the truth about how I much I loved my sin, how much God hated it, and what it meant to be repentant, truly repentant. By reading Finney’s book, I discovered that most of the time I found myself seeking God’s forgiveness because was remorseful over the consequences (consequences meaning guilt and shame) of my actions. In other words, I wanted to be forgiven because I felt guilt and shame, not because I’d sinned against God. My repentance was false because it was selfish.

I am sure this all may sound so negative – the depth and entanglement of indwelling sin, death to self in order to be free, true godly sorrow – not the kind of stuff Christians like to talk about these days. I can’t speak for anyone else but myself, but it was only when I did talk about this stuff to God and godly people leading me through time of discipleship did I become the person God intended for me to be all along. It was only when I could and would see my indwelling sin for what it was, in all of its ugliness, was I horrified enough to finally truly repent and stop the up and down cycle I was living.

Several years later, I was blessed to be a part of establishing a discipleship program at my church. I knew I wanted to share not just the lessons I’d learned, but the transformation that was possible by understanding that there was more to dealing with sin than confession and seeking forgiveness for wrong behavior. I wanted these young Christians to know that we not only have to deal what we’ve done, we have to deal with who we are.


Coming up…The Metaphor I found in my flower garden.

One Way

I’ve discovered, or re-discovered actually, one way of rekindling my passion for living in God’s presence and that will banish my spiritual apathy of Acedia.

A few months ago, a Christian bookstore in my area closed. I stopped in to see what bargains I might find at their inventory reduction sale. I found a copy of Richard Foster’s classic Celebration of Discipline. It is a book I read over twenty years ago as a Christian ‘newbie’. While being challenged by what I read, I was really too spiritually immature to grasp the depth of truth found in the practice of the spiritual disciplines. I read them on my own without engaging in any sort of accountability. It would many years before I even knew that I was supposed to be discipled into the ways of Christ by saints who’ve been travelling the narrow way longer than I. A couple of decades later, after mucking through my sin, failing and overcoming the trials and obstacles that life readily hands us, and now facing new challenges that bring both joy and anxiety, I more fully understand just how much I need to once again cultivate the spiritual disciplines in my life.

Why? Because these practices of meditation, prayer, study, fasting (yikes!), study, simplicity, solitude, submission, service, confession, worship, guidance and celebration challenge my spiritual torpor to a fight to the death. I cannot be the person God wants me to be and do the work God wants me to do, while apathy and sloth live within.

To many, the term ‘spiritual discipline’ sounds so off-putting, tinged with images of monastic life. I can appreciate this, because when I entered life on the’ narrow road’, I did so amongst a group of fellow travelers who strongly encouraged Bible reading, prayer and worship (meaning worship services), but not so much the rest them. At one time or another I’ve dabbled in most of the disciplines and been faithful to a couple, but now is not the time for dabbling. Now, I believe it is time to work at them, not to be a better Christian, but to be more like Him.

I’m inviting all comers to journey with me down the narrow path of spiritual discipline. I hope to focus on one discipline a month and I’m starting with meditation in July. I hope to share what I see, experience, and learn as I focus my spiritual eyes on what God wants me notice along the ‘narrow road.’

Until then, it’s back to our conversations on the roots that grow up in our souls that entangles and besets us.